As I sit here looking over my office of the last twenty years, I see bookcases full of professional books and file cabinets full of years worth of files and lots of memorabilia filling the room.  And yet when I leave in four short days, I know that what I will take with me, will for the most part fit in a single box.  It is amazing how so much of one’s life can be boiled down to its essence.  When I leave for the last time, I will take with me a couple of these books and most of the memorabilia, but I will also take with me so much more that doesn’t need a box, the memories.

I have worked twenty years building these memories and over the past year I have revisited them countless times through the stories  shared with my clients as I slowly closed this chapter of my career.  What has left me grateful is the affirmation that I had touched so many lives along the way.  I have been with many of my clients for all of the twenty years in this office and for some, many years beyond that while I worked from home.  Through the years I have been privy to many of the events that shaped their lives, graduations, marriages, births and sadly deaths.  To know that I was invited into those events leaves me humbled.  To be thanked for helping my clients navigate their way through them leaves me honored.

It is strange that all of that history can be crammed into one box.  But it is only strange until one realizes it is the “why” we do what we do and not just the “what” we do.  When you look at it from that perspective, you realize that the “why” is what creates that sense of accomplishment and pride in what you did and those memories and emotions need no box to be taken home in.

So as I leave my office for the last time, I will take with me one box of stuff and a heart enriched by the memories of the lives I have been honored to be part of.

A mother is that single driving force that brings life into this world and holds her family together through thick and thin.  She is the shoulder to lean on when you can’t stand alone and the same shoulder you cry on when your heart is broken.  She is hard as nails when you try to negotiate your “I wants” and as soft as cotton candy when you need her to forgive.  A mother packs your lunch and tells you to be careful all the while she knows you will because she taught you to be independent and strong.  She is there to help you plan your next adventure all the while making sure the adventure has boundaries.  She picks you up when you fall and is the healing for your hurt.  A mother gets up at dawn to ready the world for you each day and doesn’t go to sleep until she is sure that you are.  She listens to your dreams and does everything in her power to give them a chance to become.  She is your feet when yours are afraid to take that step.  She is your heart the day you tell her you might be in love and your sensibility when life is too full of stress.  A mother is your soul when you need the faith and courage to soldier on.

You are everything we wanted and gave us everything we needed.  We owe you everything and so often return less than you deserve.  Today is your day for us to promise to be our best.  To be the reflection of your love and compassion, your strength and courage, you faith in the face of doubt.  You are the embodiment of the noblest of all careers, motherhood.

Your mother brought you into this world and prepared you to be the mother you one day would be.  I have watched your every move, your every act of compassion.  I have seen you at your best and felt your pain when you couldn’t seem to take theirs away.  You have produced two beautiful daughters and they are a testament to you.  They are your heart and soul and their strength is the reflection of the courage you have shown them.  You have prepared them to be the mother Bailey is and the one Kathryn may one day be.

Be content.  Know that you are cherished and respected.  Your legacy will live on through the generations that follow ours simply because you were in their lives each and every time they needed you.  Never wavering, standing your ground when you had to and sacrificing everything if they needed you.  Your heart and soul are imprinted on theirs and will live on long after we are gone.

Happy Mother’s Day my love.  What a lonely journey it would be without you.

All my love,

I am sitting here recovering from my recent surgery.  Meanwhile many of my coworkers are covering for me as I heal.  They are handling my calls and my reports among other tasks that they so willingly step in to take care of.  And how does it affect me?  I am wallowing in guilt.  Guilt for not being there.  Guilt for the poor timing of this surgery.  We as an office are going through a very large and work intensive broker dealer change.   And here I am, sitting at home recuperating.

It was fortunate that my daughter is experiencing car trouble and tonight I drove her around to her appointment.  It was fortunate because I got to listen to her tell me how guilty she was feeling. It seems her coworkers and her boyfriend are taking care of her while she is without her car.  I could write an entire blog piece on the value of wisdom gained in conversations with our children but I’ll save that for another time.  The pearl of wisdom is the realization of what is really happening here.

When we allow others to step in when we can’t, we get to witness the actions of people who care for us.  In truth, our inability to perform our tasks gives them the chance to show that they do care about us and at the same time we give them the opportunity to demonstrate their worth as a coworker.

I have always been a responsible person and as such could not imagine making others do my work.  To that end I can pride myself in seldom if ever missing work but now, thanks to my daughter, I see that I may have just been depriving people of their opportunity to step in.  It is still not easy for me to shed this guilt, but in this new light, some of my anxiety has decreased.

If there is a moral here, it is to trust others and accept their willingness to help out.  Accept it for what it is, a gift.  Savor the gift, appreciate their efforts and try just a little, to shed some of your guilt.

The film, “It’s A Wonderful Life” came out in 1946.  The war had ended and this film hoped to capture the hearts of all who saw it that Christmas.  Though it wasn’t a hit and actually got panned, it has become a staple of Christmas movies one needs to see each Christmas.  Though not initially liked, it has become an icon.

It’s the premise that I wanted to write about.  The movie presents a desperate man, George, who through his sacrifice had saved his community, and yet he still felt that he was a failure.  And because of this, George was about to end his life.  In steps his guardian angel  who shows him what the world would be like without him.

Now you can figure out that he would not go through with it and in fact found his riches were measured, not by money but rather by the number of friends he was surrounded by.  The film’s message is that we are all like George or at least hope to be.  The Christmas season is the perfect time for us to be reminded that we can be who we want to be.  We just need see the forest for the trees.

It is too easy for us to measure success by the wrong set of parameters.  In that evaluation, we are either feeling successful because we are well off or we deem ourselves a failure because we lack monetary wealth.  The movie reminds us that we should be measuring our success by the number of people we have touched or maybe even influenced for change.

Christmas letters and cards are a tactile way of seeing the number of people who care about us enough to send us the letter or card in the first place.  At this time of year, take time to count the number of people who bless your life.  And then, let them know.

At Christmas we can be who we want to be, but don’t let the rest of the year undo that feeling.  Live in the present and give to the future.  Christmas reminds us that no person who has friends is ever a failure.