Okay, it finally happened, or should I say I finally gave in to the mounting pressure. It was 9:30 am on day four and I found myself on the beach with a bright blue mat beneath my feet and a very German fitness trainer asking me to get in the downward dog. Oh my god I am in a yoga class. After some brief stretches and encouragement from the other participants, I am actually doing it. Now I am not going to say I was immediately grounded, “no judgement of our bodies”, or yet at peace but I promised to respect relaxation and here I was. I am proud to tell you that in spite of my clumsiness, I think I pulled it off. I reached the sky with open hands in my “grab the mountain” position. Pretty sure that’s what she called it and managed both the table top and as previously mentioned the downward dog. Really kind of enjoyed the child position. To you other males out there saying “not I”, pull up your big boy pants, my wife’s favorite motivational line, and try it.
Now as long as I had handled the yoga, it was on to my next experience. An afternoon at the spa. No, I didn’t get a facial and I for sure didn’t have cucumbers on my eyes, but I was in for the rest of it. If you have never had the full massage treatment, let me enlighten you on the foreplay steps before the massage. First there is the hot shower followed by the cold water bucket dump. This was actually pretty enjoyable considering you are outdoors and the temperature is in the low 90’s. Next step, the sauna. Let me clue you in here. I would personally use this step as a method of torture. Threaten to keep me in there until I cracked and believe me you wouldn’t be waiting long. We entered the room and the attendant set the timer for 5 minutes. After what seemed an unbearable passage of time and noticing that my fingers were melting, I asked how long I had made it? 30 seconds. This is definitely not good. Step four, back under the bucket of cold water. After the sauna, this was heaven. From here our massage preparedness takes us to several pools. Cold pool first and comfortable, time allowed 5 seconds. Next pool, bone jarring water cascades on your shoulders, lower back and eventually, your bum. Don’t even ask. Final pool, the bubbling cauldron. Now as a side note, today is American Day at the resort and all meals are american themed. Five minutes into this last pool and I am beginning to think I am the american they are having for dinner. I ask my wife to warn me if she sees anyone about to dump vegetables into our pool.
But enough pool play, we are ready for the massage. We are escorted in our robes to our massage room and after removing them, butt naked for the shy, we are ready for what brought us. I will tell you now that I had no idea you could make your knuckles and toes crack that loudly. Lest you get the wrong idea, this was somehow delightfully wonderful. The complete body massage took 50 minutes and I was ready for 50 more. Every knot and cramp, every achy muscle and tendon were addressed thoroughly. By the end, I swear I was physically re-sized. I am now back to my full 6 foot height, my feet are 1/2 inch smaller, my sandals literally fell off leaving the room, and my knees actually thanked me. As with yoga, if you ever thought this to not be manly….. pull up your big boy pants.
Today will go down as my rejuvenation day. Tonight its down to dinner by the ocean followed by a beach party that promises to be memorable, except for the alcohol which may end up negating their efforts.
So as I reach up to the sky from my downward dog position, with hands open to grab the mountain…….. Namaste’ until tomorrow.