The Boomerang

One recent evening, my wife and I were walking in our neighborhood. As we walked by the next yard on that block, my eye caught just a glimpse of the boomerang that lay half hidden in the pile of leaves that had been recently heaped up in the median, waiting for the city to pick them up. In that moment, my mind flashed back to a memory of a sunny fall day with my dad.

I was 10 years old, savoring this day with my dad. In and of itself, it likely doesn’t seem like this should be one of those significant moments that we pull up from our memory bank. It needs some background and some clarification. We were a family of six kids all growing up on the family dairy farm. The general order of things was you get up early and the milking and barn chores begin. If it was winter, you needed to finish up in time for breakfast, get dressed for school, and head off into town. Three o’clock and school gets out, you head back home and repeat the morning cycle of chores, finish up by supper, do your homework, and then off to bed. Summer at least gave us a little variety to the daytime routine. No school meant we had time to get the field work done.

Now do not think all we ever did was work. As a boy growing up, I had my brothers and we were crafty enough to find some play time in between or even while we worked. That last maneuver was one that drove my dad crazy.  I still could hear his voice yelling up to us in the hayloft, “If you worked as hard as you play, all the chores would be done.” Of course, that wasn’t true because there was always something else that had to be fixed, moved, changed, mowed, or whatever. There was an endless supply of chores.

The one truth in all of this work was that though we were sometimes given a little leeway for playtime, dad never really got any. As you can tell, the life of a farmer was and still is a dawn to dusk operation. As a result, I have very few memories of time spent playing with my dad.

This day was different. He had found my crude attempt at making a slingshot. My first thought was that he was about to confiscate it. Instead, he eyed it over, gave it the “good effort” comment, and then to my great surprise and complete delight said it was time he showed me how to make a proper sling shot. I was going to spend quality time, I didn’t know that was what you called it, with my dad making the perfect slingshot. As he explained, we first had to find the right ash tree, and not any old ash, but one with just the right branches. They had to form this perfect “Y” shape, not straight edges, but rather more of a curve where the arms met the handle. I remember hiking through the woods together. In my recall of the memory, I can still smell the dogwood trees and hear the whisper of the trees as the wind moved the branches. It took us the better part of the morning before we found “our perfect ash tree” and even longer for me to shinny up into the branches to retrieve that special one. But that did not bother me. I savored every minute. I was having “not working time” with my dad.

Rubber straps carefully cut from an old bicycle innertube and the stone pouch fashioned from some old cowhide; my slingshot was finished. My weapon of mass destruction, as I prefer to remember it, was ready for firing! After a few shooting lessons from dad and the obvious warning from mom that the moment I broke a window, it would belong to her, interpretation, it would be firewood, I was armed and dangerous.

The good memories are like a warm blanket. They wrap around you and fill you with nostalgia. It is often some place or thing that triggers the memory’s release and you go back in time to the moment or moments that created the memory. That boomerang did what boomerangs do, they come back. For me, it brought that memory back.

There is a second memory associated with that boomerang. This one is not as old, but it is just as rich. My grandchild, Jackson, was maybe six years old. He had seen a boomerang on a TV show and came to me with the question of how could it come back after you threw it? We researched boomerangs. We looked at drawings of how the very exacting curve made it fly in an arc. Finally, we watched YouTube videos on how one needed to throw and release the boomerang. Saturday afternoon arrived none too soon and we were off to the park. Jackson and I must have thrown that boomerang the equivalent distance of a half trip to the moon. Did it come back? Not exactly. But Jackson stuck to it, and eventually, with a little going halfway to meet it, he caught it. I hope that one day, something will trigger the memory of that day for Jackson. When it happens, if it happens, I hope he will remember a day spent playing with his Opa. I hope that he will remember the feel of the grass on his bare feet, the whoosh the boomerang made as he threw it, and that wonderful moment his hand snatched the boomerang from the air as it actually returned!

If there is a lesson here, it would be taking time from work to play. Play with your children. Play with your grandchildren. Make a memory. Make it one that will boomerang back to that grown child so that they can relive that special day when they realized you could still just play.

I will close with a thank you. First, thank you to the child who forgetfully left his boomerang in that leaf pile. But even more importantly, thank you dad. Thank you dad, not just for helping me make a slingshot, but for taking the time out of work that day just to play with me.

One More Trip Down the Rabbit Hole

I know that I made a promise that I was done blogging about my cancer trip. However, it seems I need to make at least one more visit to the rabbit hole. If you are needing to catch up or just looking for a recap, my cancer was diagnosed back in October of 2025. In the ensuing ten months, I have visited the UW Health clinic so many times and so consistently that I was considering having my mail delivered there. That is, the stuff that isn’t just the recyclable junk kind.

With a seemingly endless array of doctors and specialists, there was no end to the number of referrals made over that period of time. Today, I met with one more of my doctors. This doctor is one that has been with me for a number of years and has been the one in charge of keeping my arthritis at bay. As we wrapped up my annual appointment, she turned to me and brought up one of the many nagging side effects of the cancer. She explained how she could make a referral to a specialist for treatment and asked if I was interested. In my moment of hesitation, she suddenly did an about face and surprised me with a completely unexpected referral. She decided that what I needed was a break. No more doctor referrals until I was ready. Her prescription for me was to get away. To treat myself and my wife to a trip to anywhere, as long as it meant we got away.

In that moment, she had made the one referral I had truly wanted. She had acknowledged that this was my journey, and in so doing, had given me the opportunity to choose my own path. As I got up to leave, she asked if she could walk out with me. As we arrived at the waiting area, she turned me toward her, thrust her arms forward, and gave me the most healing hug of this long journey I have been on. As the hug continued, she softly said, “I followed your protocol all these months and am so relieved that you have survived.”

Please be assured that I have both appreciated and liked all of the doctors whom I have seen and been seen by. I respect their professionalism and their incredible skill. I thank the UW Health System for providing such a remarkable team. While at times, they all had shown glimpses of this doctor’s incredible empathy, she had just risen a little further above. While practicing her skill, she had not lost sight of the patient. She had recognized the need to not only to heal the physical, she had addressed my emotional need to heal. In that moment of hesitation, she had set aside the protocol and made a diagnosis that could have so easily been missed.

Today, maybe for the first time, I felt a sense of relief, a feeling that maybe I was beginning to regain normal. And, as we drove home, I finally felt a true sense of healing. It is for the healing, it is because I have survived, it is for all the professionals and the care they provided, but especially, it is for Dr Sharkey, that this story needed to be told. Thanks to the fact that I am still standing, I get to be the one to tell it.

My Cancer Journey: The Kindness of Neighbors

We are entering the home stretch. Treatment will be completed next Friday. As this journey has progressed, I have gotten considerably weaker and have continued to struggle finding enough calories. Many friends and family have offered to help in whatever way we need them, but so far, we have managed. But that ended tonight. I watched Deb spend all afternoon packing away the Christmas decorations while I sat on the couch. I decided I needed to help out and would tackle taking down and storing our rather large artificial Christmas tree. I first had to separate the three sections of the tree. That done, I would have to get them back in the large storage box. There they would lie silent, waiting for next Christmas. I managed the separation part, but half way through the packing away, the room gave way. In a heartbeat, a very rapid heart beat, I found myself on my back on the floor. After a few scary moments, we decided it was time to call in one of those offers. Tom and Judy, our neighbors across the street, was one of our options. Deb put out the call and within minutes they were there. Tom took over the job of storing the tree while Judy, a retired nurse took charge of me. Thankfully, my heart settled down, my pulse strengthened and my blood pressure looked good. We made it through this time.

I am so grateful to live in a neighborhood where any of my neighbors would have responded the same. The same holds true for each and every promise to step in whether or not the opportunity arose. It’s knowing you would is all I need. It alone gives me strength to keep going.

We have reached the point in this journey when everything is tough. Where pain is constant, and just trying is an effort. But we will make it. Deb will keep up the advocacy along with her own journal. I will keep trying. Together we will see this to the end. Tonight, without Tom and Judy, I’m not sure how it would have ended. At the very least, my tree would be lying in state in our living room. Three separate pieces trying to be whole. I have learned a valuable lesson, If people want to help, I really should let them.

A Magical Invitation

It had been one of those days. It seemed like every time I got one task completed, the next one fell in my lap. I was leaving a late evening meeting, when she called. I had planned on going home and relaxing, when I saw the missed call from my daughter. My mind ran through the scenarios, ranging from just checking in to needing my help. As my finger poised over the call back option, I entertained letting it go until morning, but could I? The answer to that was I couldn’t, and I called her back.

When she answered, it was obvious she was excited about something. I gathered through her giddiness that she was with my son-in-law and granddaughter in the countryside watching the northern lights.  She was inviting me to come join them and strangely, I was considering turning down her invitation. In my defense, I was tired and it was getting late. It would be a thirty-minute drive and I would have to find this field in the middle of nowhere. I had seen northern lights before and this far south, they were never that impressive, at least for me. But she was so insistent, and my decision was made.

It was all of the thirty-minute drive and without GPS, it would have been a task to find them. They were out in a large, recently picked corn field found just off a barely two-lane country road. As I got out of the car, my daughter approached. “They just stopped she proclaimed, but we are hoping they will start back up soon.” Great, I thought, this is going to turn out like all my other efforts to see northern lights. Just then it happened. It was as if someone had suddenly flipped a light switch in a dark room. The sky filled with reds and greens, shimmering and growing brighter with every passing second. There were towers of red streaming straight up like fireworks. Sometimes, the sky was filled with fan-like displays. The reds faded to orange, and then the greens filled in the gaps. It was a mesmerizing display.

I spent over an hour out there in that field. My daughter and granddaughter were at my side. We stared in awe at the night sky. The northern lights display would have been well worth the effort on its own. But, as I stood there with them, it became clear to me what a gift I would have passed up. She was insistent on my coming out. How had I not realized the true reason I had to come out there? This was what every father craves. It was her invitation to join her. The adventure is so important to her that she needs you there to share it with her.

Standing out in a corn field looking up at the night sky was special because I shared it with her. That invitation I almost ignored made the adventure sweeter, made the experience deeper, made the evening memorable. I can only hope that there will be more invitations, more adventures to share. And above all, that I wouldn’t ever fail to accept that invitation when it comes.