I had just arrived at my Saturday morning men’s group. In that group, we talk about issues facing men in general and specifically those that confront us. I had dragged my sleepy butt out from under my very warm covers and oh so soft pillow and was still questioning my reasoning as I grabbed a seat in the circle. Not knowing the topic for this day, I could only hope it would be something that would resonate with my needs. As I sat there pondering just that, the topic of the day was announced. We would be talking about purpose.

Purpose has always been an issue with me. Beside the fact that I preached it to my clients as what they needed to find in their life and for certain, in retirement, there are multiple dimensions to the idea of purpose. Many will state that purpose is what we do, while others will say it is how we conduct our life. I believe, and my fellow men affirmed me, it is the why we do what we do. Imbedded in the notion of purpose is the passion we feel for what we do. It is not enough that we are busy or even that we can tally up all the things we have accomplished, but rather that we are exercising our passion in the purpose we are serving. It is the exercise of those things that we are most passionate about that gives us the sense of purpose. To paraphrase my pastor, who might have paraphrased someone else, it is the difference between a human-being and a human being.

My epiphany about purpose is that it isn’t what I do to solve my need but rather what I do to help others. A life of purpose gives me a sense of accomplishment, even joy, when I can see what it does for others. So back to retirement. The most difficult issue that holds a person back from retiring, isn’t truly the financial or even the insurance, it’s what will they do when they no longer work for that company or run their business. How will they fulfill that need to be useful? I am not discounting the fact that finances and insurance play a big part, I am just saying that it is the fear of no longer having a purpose that causes them to hesitate, in some cases, to even throw down other roadblocks to retirement even when they don’t exist or at least are not that critical. The mistake is believing that doing our job was our purpose. It seems appropriate to quote Marley (A Christmas Carol), “Mankind was my business.”

I was a tax and investment planner by trade and worked with hundreds of clients as they tried to make sense of their finances. It is what I did, and when I wasn’t taking time to put it in perspective, I would often believe that solving those problems was my purpose when in reality it was something much different. When it finally came time for me to practice what I preached and face retirement, I realized how if I wasn’t deliberate, I was about to fail miserably. I needed to come to grips with just exactly what was my purpose. After some introspective and a lot of listening to others as they tried to define me, I came to the realization that it wasn’t what I was doing, but why I did it. Throughout my career as a teacher and then a planner, it was the opportunity to help others solve their problems. Not the solving of the problem, but being able to help them solve their problem. That is what I was passionate about and has proven to be the why of my purpose.

I am seven years into retirement and still learning the power of purpose and understanding what it is that will let me find my sense of that every day of my life. I still listen to every discussion shared about the topic. That’s what I was doing in my men’s group that morning. Some of what I heard was affirmation of my belief. Other parts of the conversation deepened my understanding of purpose offered through the perspective of the other men in the group. Some were even epiphanies, reminders that learning never stops until we do.

I will continue to seek my purpose in the things I do and the people I meet. I will try to be a better person every day, but not for me. I will do it for you.