All Story Telling

These pages will reflect the art of story telling and may involve my family stories as well as history and travel. They are a hodgepodge of topics with antidotal comments, but always involve the attributes of a good story.

And Then I Blinked

Posted on by kwundrow

This blog entry will need an intro.  I wrote this piece on the occasion of my daughter Bailey’s marriage to her fiancee, John on July 17th, 2011.  My goal was twofold.  I wanted to have a chance to recollect some of my favorite memories all the while impressing on Bailey and John as well as their guests just how fast life can move.  I wanted to impart on them that it was important not only to make the memories, but to remember them and to retell them on those special occasions life offers.

Bailey and John promised me a chance to tell a story, provided I kept it to 5 minutes.  But there are too many to tell.  Better time me.  With a slight apology to Kenny Chesney, here goes.

 

It is April 21, 1984 and I am standing in the delivery room holding my baby girl.  22 hours of labor, and a C section to boot……… you were already stubborn then.  But what is her name I am asked…….”Bailey”. I respond with unimaginable pride.

 

And then I blinked….

 

I am standing along side my brother in his wedding party looking for you and mom in the front pew.  Seems you decided to make a bigger scene than the wedding and mom in her “patient” manner made you walk the 2 miles back to the farm…. before the wedding even begins.  A little of that stubborn streak again?  Oh by the way, you were far more elegant today babe.

 

And then I blinked….

 

You are suddenly 3 and I am ransacking the sitter’s house looking for your other shoe.  Seems I have fallen victim to the “hide the shoe” delay tactic.  I think this is when you started mentioning going to Shopko to get a new dad.  What aisle is that in and was I a blue light special?

 

And then I blinked …

 

I think you are 5 now and we are sitting on the couch together.  Mom needs you to say you’re sorry but you don’t think so.  Bernstein Bears to the rescue.  And it works… too well… from this point forward “sorry” is the easiest word in your vocabulary.  It will even get you in trouble later in High School.  Laps I think, for the whole team I believe!  There’s no sorry in softball.  But that’s another story.

 

 

 

 

And then I blinked …

 

When did you become this young lady?  You are ready for high school but not before you travel to Washington DC.  Even I hadn’t been there, but I felt like I had when I listened to your stories of the adventure.  That will become a theme with you.  Everything becomes an adventure.  Sure hope John is adventuresome.

 

And then I blinked …

 

You are in high school now and two sports have spurred your interest, Softball and Golf.  In softball you want maximum involvement so let’s be the pitcher, and golf….Really?   Can you pick more stressful sports for us to watch?  I had to spend your first golf season sneaking around the course so you wouldn’t see me.  By the second season we had developed our very own sign language.  And Softball, Just throw strikes, for God sake just throw strikes!

 

And then I blinked …

 

You’re in college now, about to realize your ultimate goal.  Hi dad, remember that goal of getting to ride the Zamboni, guess I’ll drive it instead.  You got to actually make the ice for the Badger practices at the Shell.  Badger hockey games would never be the same.  Now we evaluate the Zamboni driver’s skills during the intermissions.

 

And then I blinked…

 

You’ve graduated from college and you just finished your first interview.  How did the interview go? I think pretty well dad…. They gave me the job.  And another teacher is added to our family.  Good choice of subject by the way!  You had never wavered.  You told us in first grade you would be a teacher and now Verona just made it real.

 

And then I blinked…

 

And then there was John.  We’re at the Packer game and I am fired up for the game to begin, but who’s this guy that’s come down to our seats for a “visit”?  I’ve met several would be boy friends but there is something different this time.  I’ll need to keep an eye on this one.

 

And then I blinked…

 

And it was today and your arm is in mine and we are standing at the doorway to the rest of your life.  And you are beautiful and you are ready.  And I am incredibly proud to be your father.  I place your hand in John’s and I pray and I know that it is right.

 

John, I entrust you with my daughter, she is my heart, full of all the love and pride a father can have.  She comes with no instruction manual.  It is for you to figure it out, but feel free to ask for advice now and then. Take care of her heart and take care of each other.

 

In the words of one of my favorite singers “Live, Laugh and Love”  Always Together.  Just don’t blink.

 

Please raise your glasses in a toast to my daughter and my new son. 

 

May the love that has brought you together and the marriage that makes you whole, sustain you all the days of your life.  Cheers.

Retirement..What’s a guy going to do?

Posted on by kwundrow

After a lot of discussion and long consideration, I decided I was ready to retire.  I know how much I will miss many of the people I have shared office space with and I certainly will miss my clients and the opportunities they have given me to solve their problems and to be part of the planning for their future and often their retirements.  But the time had come and I knew that if I could take a year to say goodbye, I could move on.

It seems that once you announce your retirement you get one of two reactions.  The first comes from those who have gone before.  They tell you how great it will be and how you never realized how many things you never had time for.  The second group wants to know what you will do.  They are fearful, I suspect, that I won’t feel fulfilled.  I found myself detailing out my retirement and wondering if I was just making this stuff up to appease them.

I have decided to take a different tack.  With apologies to the writers of Sleepless in Seattle, here is how I am going to start answering their question.  I’m gonna get out of bed every morning….breathe in and out all day long.  Then after a while I won’t have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out….and, then after a while, I won’t have to think how I had it great and perfect for a while.

The problem is, I can’t tell if people send you through this maze because they are jealous of your decision or if they are genuinely worried about you.  I am hoping for the second.  I have had a great career, twenty five years of teaching children the beauty of math and its ability to solve problems and then nineteen years of working with adults, helping them lay out plans and encouraging them to stay on track.  In between, I managed to do over 12,000 tax returns, work on construction crews to build dozens of homes and apartments and even spent a couple of years as a bartender.  The common thread in all of this was all the interesting people I met along the way, that I learned their stories and enjoyed the opportunities to assist them in any way I could.  I have had a rich career and I doubt I will fail in retirement.

I am going to heed my own words.  After a short vacation, I will come to appreciate that I have no obligations and in that freedom I will follow my passion.  I will volunteer when I need to be fulfilled.  I will travel when I need stimulation and I will write when the mood strikes me.  But above all I will try every day to fill my life with memories just as I have for the past 44 years.  Hopefully I might even succeed in writing something somebody will enjoy reading.

Stay tuned…I have just begun to be.

110 Degrees

Posted on by kwundrow

I just finished the home portion of rehab for my replacement knee replacement.  I am glad to say that I reached 110 degrees of flex today.  This for me is significant enough to record it officially.  At this point I am ready to tackle stairs again and that is a precursor to all those things that follow.  Maybe even being able to run again, not that I was ever a serious runner.  My idea of running is to be able to catch my grandson when he takes off or the ability to cross the busy street in front of my office on my way to an infamous butter burger at Culvers.  For the past year, while trying unsuccessful to recover from the original surgery, a fast walk over a short distance was all I could muster.  That was far from being able to play Frogger as I crossed a busy street.

All of this has taught me some degree of patience while clearly showing me what I had so callously taken for granted.  The knee is an incredible piece of our physiology.   One does not think of how much abuse it can take and how much it allows us to do.  When I watch football these days and I see an awkward tackle, I can feel the pain shooting through my own knee.  As I rehab to get stretch back and as I lie awake at night asking my legs if they would kindly go to sleep, I had to become patient.  Not much else to do especially as I recover from the surgery in the dead of winter.  I dream of skiing breakneck down the slopes or maybe climbing up a chimney hidden in the rocks of Devil’s Lake.  For now, it is literally one step at a time while my mechanical knee begins to replace what I took so much for granted.

I am getting there.  Slow but sure, I am getting there.  If there is a moral to this story, it is to take the time to treat your body right.  Maybe if I had heeded those words and given my knee the water it wanted for nourishment and the exercise it need to stay healthy, I wouldn’t be sitting here trying for 120 degrees.  I would be out on the slope, taking a jump here and there or just a graceful slalom turn and my knee would be saying “no sweat, lets do it again”.  For now I will be patient and know that soon I will be up to all those normal tasks. Heck, maybe even running.

New Years 2017

Posted on by kwundrow

 

Happy New Year

2016 is over and 2017 awaits our decisions and actions. I for one intend to make this truly a happy new year. The wonderful thing about life is that we get a fresh start every day. Even if yesterday was not so hot, nothing requires us to carry it forward. We are all a product of our actions and with that said, make a decision to act positively in the new year ahead. But if you happen to run into me on one of those not so hot days, lets remind each other that tomorrow really does start anew. Happy first day of a Happy New Year.

New Years 2016

Posted on by kwundrow

 

Wishing everyone of you a very exciting new year. Life is a story we get to read a chapter of each year. The trick is we are both the reader and the author. Take every opportunity to write your chapter the way you can be proud of and to be able to enjoy the reading of it a year from tonight. Make your story great and include us in it every chance you get. Happy New Year. —

Some Things Just Aren’t Permanent

Posted on by kwundrow

It has been a week since I had the replacement of my replaced knee done. After a year of PT, it was decided to go back in and find out why I wasn’t improving. It turns out the upper prosthesis had come loose and shifted. I am happy to say that the rehab I still remember so well, is going much better and much faster than that original session. For all of this I need to thank Deb, my excellent nurse. She encourages me when I have to push through the pain and she keeps me safe when I might be just a little too quick to show my independence. She cooks meals for me and really anything I am the least bit hungry for. This will give me the strength to do my exercises. But even more than that, she strengthens my spirit and my will to stay on track and make all of this worth the effort. I actually have dreams of running, something pretty far from reality just yet. So this is a shout out to all who will help with my healing but especially to Deb Shepherdwundrow. Thank you for being here when I need you the most and thank you for your patience with whimpering and groans.

PS: For those of you who will be getting a knee replacement, take heart. My situation is not the norm. As you go through this, find others to share your experience. Please remember that each person’s journey is unique. Keep track of the up days as they won’t all be up days. Finally, do not get discouraged and allow your self some recuperation time following those hard PT days.

On My Way Home

Posted on by kwundrow

So here I am on American Airlines, bound for home.  My morning started at 3:30 am when I awoke, got ready and caught the hotel shuttle for the airport and my way too early flight.  After a two hour layover in Dallas Airport, we just left the tarmac and in a few hours I will be home.  This marks the end of my annual teaching schedule.  Please don’t ask what I am out there teaching unless you are short on both sleep and sleep aids.  My circuit begins in Wisconsin where we zig zag across the state but ends with a week travelling across the State of Mississippi, finishing just in time to still get home for Christmas.

I guess what I wanted to write about was the amazing experience of not just visiting another state, but working and interacting with the locals as well.  My experience is one of meeting incredibly gracious people with a very easy and much more laid back view of life.  I will say that the term “fast food” is kind of lost when you are down here in the South and believe me, when you are crisscrossing the state and driving between your hotel sites, you get a lot of opportunity for fast food.  Down South, they just aren’t in that same frenetic hurry that we seem to be in up here in the North.  Never the less, I do look forward each year to my “Journey’s Across Mississippi”.  I will shamelessly add that I can take extra heaping helpings of the “can I get’cha anything honey” or “how’s it go’en sweetie” any day and miss it every time I return home.

One of the fringe benefits I look forward to each year, is leaving the cold of Wisconsin weather in December for the subtle warm weather of that same time in Mississippi.  I would pack for sixty and seventy degree weather looking forward to even donning shorts on my day off.  So what went wrong this year?   It seems the cold weather somehow purchased an airline ticket along with mine and showed up to accompany me across Mississippi.  Though we did get one day of fifty degrees, I feared for snow on the rest.  What was humorous, was their reaction to this weather.  The term “oh my God, Hell is freezing over” seemed to be the general reaction.  That and blaming my wife and I for bringing it with us.  Newscasters warned the fearful citizens to bring in all animals, wrap your pipes and head to the grocery store for a week’s worth of provisions before the shelves were bare.  We saw all forms of warm weather gear as they prepared for this onslaught of “death by cold”.  Now in fairness, we in Wisconsin, given this same degree of cold, would at least have put away our shorts and flip flops.  We may have even donned a sweater.  But gloves, ski masks and parkas?  By the way, I still packed for seventy degrees.  Rather wore out that one sweater I had somehow packed, or was that the one I wore to the airport the day we flew down?

But I am on my way home now and I apologize to the Deep South for bringing that taste of winter with me.  I am told a good old snow storm waits for me to land so that it can blanket us with a beautiful layer of white.  The more I think about it, the more I look forward to it.  Poor Mississippi, suffering through the cold without the one beautiful benefit of winter, snow.  After all, what would winter and especially Christmas be without it?

So I will sign the end of my trip, gently dozing off on the plane while dreaming of a white Christmas and glad to be home once more.

 

My Favorite Thanksgiving

Posted on by kwundrow

I was recently asked to share my favorite Thanksgiving memory.  As I am sure it would be hard for you, it was a difficult task for me as well.  I had so many to choose from.  I thought of the first Thanksgiving with my family as I brought my then new girlfriend and eventual wife, Deb, to meet my mom, dad and siblings.  I remember the stories we told around that table and the laughs we shared.  I of course thought of those first Thanksgivings we spent at our own home with my daughters and the traditions we started.  I thought of those spent with my brother in law and sister in law at their home in Wausau as we merged our families and the “cousin’s club” was formed under the basement stairs.

I eventually settled on one very different Thanksgiving.  It was Thanksgiving on a cold November day in 1985.  We were moving into our new home that next morning and my brother had come down to help us pack and move.  This would be his first Thanksgiving away from the family we had grown up in and he was letting me know how hard that was.  Since the kitchen, and whole house for that matter, were packed away in boxes, there was no way to have a dinner at our house.  We decided to go out to Crandall’s, a local restaurant, that was actually serving Thanksgiving dinner.  When we arrived, I took the waitress aside and explained our situation.  She recommended we take the home style meal being offered and she would do her best to recreate the family feel.

Dinner was served with heaping helpings of mashed potatoes, turkey and gravy.  The stories ensued and we were feeling better.  Eventually, the waitress slid by our table and asked how everyone was doing?  My brother complimented the food and then requested some more potatoes and gravy.  With out missing a beat, the waitress put her hand on his shoulder and said “They’re in the kitchen, I’m sure you can get them as easy as me.”  My brother’s look was priceless.  The slack jaw, the rolled up eyes.  The waitress smiled and said “Thought I’d make you feel right at home.”  Needless to say, she had performed perfectly.  It was if my mom had been there all along.

Ironically, all these years later, we are more or less in the midst of repeating the story.  My younger daughter and her boyfriend are about to move into their new home tomorrow morning.  It is amazing how life circles back.  We will all be together for turkey at our home and we will share the stories that we continue to pass down.  Today we will remember those Thanksgivings that have been and look forward to those yet to come.  I want to thank my brother and that waitress for one of my favorite memories.

So share your stories and your memories and remember,  there’s more turkey and gravy in the kitchen, go help yourself.  Happy Thanksgiving 2016.

Happy Thanksgiving 2016

Posted on by kwundrow

 

Happy thanksgiving to all my friends and family, not that my family isn’t counted among my friends. Just being careful. I am thankful for my life. It may not always go the way we planned but each change and turn defines us and leads us closer to ultimately who we are meant to be. My life has been so full of wonderful twists and turns. My wife, my family, my career are all were met and added to my life along the journey. I will sit with my family today and reflect on a great life. We will tell and retell our stories and laugh and love together as we celebrate thanksgiving together. May you all feel as blessed and may you all feel the warmth of a loving family and a rich life. Happy Thanksgiving 2016. Now go watch the parade and eat some turkey

Thirty-six years….and counting

Posted on by kwundrow

November 15, 2016

To my wife and partner of thirty-six years

Life is an interesting journey.  So many little things brought us together all those years ago.  Some of those things were good ones and some, unfortunately, were not but never the less they were the steps that brought our paths to the intersection where we met.  Not that you were ready for the likes of me.  You put up a fair share of resistance.  Fortunately, one of my traits was persistence and your resistance quickly wore down.

We started out small, dinner at the Checkerboard, Dutch treat as I had so little to offer you other than my wit and charm.  Nice to know we have outlasted the Checkerboard, long since gone.  We advanced to our first date, a movie left unnamed and attended by accident.  To eventually deciding that our feelings were mutual and it was time to stop being apart, if even for a day or even a few hours at a time.

We made it to Thanksgiving, our first holiday together.  There would be thirty-six more to come, many with distinct memories, apple cobbler served warm on a bed of concrete comes to mind, but none so remarkable as that first Thanksgiving.  I will forever refer to it as the Shepherd Inquisition.  How I survived is beyond me.  If I had been your father, I would have sent me packing.  But this is where your character trait came into play.  You are a strong person who when she knows she is right takes a stand that no one can move.  And so you fought for me.  This would be the first in multiple times that you would fight for me.  I am glad you have won every time.

I remember our first truly “big” date.  You know, the one where he surprises you with his willingness to spend way more than he can afford on a destination that is meant to impress.  Do you remember….the Top of the 95th in Chicago?  By the time we left dinner, the one with the lovely view of the kitchen, I barely had enough money to get us out of the parking garage.  But somehow you were impressed.  A trick I have managed to pull off countless times since and something I will continue to attempt far into our future.

Oh we have had our fights along the way.  Some trivial and others worth fighting for, but through it all we learned more about each other every time and we learned to fight nice, love more and laugh at life together.  When our careers distracted us, one of us always took on the role of supporter.  We soothed our frazzled nerves and reached out and pulled each other through.

And then there were children.  First Bailey and then all those years later, Kathryn.  We created them out of love and rededicated our lives to theirs.  We faced the challenge of raising two bright and beautiful, independent young women and we championed our efforts.  We learned the art of divide and conquer, the skill of compromise without losing sight of the goal and the pleasure only two lively intelligent girls could bring to our family.  By the looks of it, aka the last reality check, we have succeeded.

There are so many tales to tell, so little room to write them all down.  But at least a mention.  Our Christmas traditions, starting with that first movie, Pauley, and eventually growing into our dinners on the town and The Christmas Carol presentation.  Thirty-six Christmas mornings, thirty-two with children, one with a dog if I remember correctly.  The family trips; Italy, the Caribbean, Mexico, Yellowstone and Yosemite to name just a few.  So many wonderful memories and so many years together.

What has kept us together all these years?  Love and respect.  Sometimes just enough and other times more than enough to store for the years ahead.  Thank you for always fighting for me and for standing up alongside of me when I needed that support.  We are a partnership, forged in tenacity and built on a foundation of love.  I look forward to the future and if it is in the stars, another thirty-six years to build our continuing book of memories.

All my love on this our anniversary.

Ken