All Story Telling

These pages will reflect the art of story telling and may involve my family stories as well as history and travel. They are a hodgepodge of topics with antidotal comments, but always involve the attributes of a good story.

Cycle of Fear…Being Anxious

Posted on by kwundrow

I have been thinking about this next piece for a while now.  You might say I am actually having some true anxiety about writing it.  I wrote a first piece on some options for dealing with fear (see Cycle of Fear).  In this segment I will talk about the next stage, anxiousness.

There is a difference between being anxious and suffering from anxiety.  Anxiety is very close to fear.  In fact it is so close that it is hard to distinguish between them.  Where fear is generally irrational, anxiety is more analytic.  Fear is a primal emotion and it is hardwired into our psyche.  It is meant to protect us from harm.  Anxiety is a modern emotion and comes from our experiences.  Anxiety is understanding that we are about to do something that needs serious consideration.  I want to look at being anxious.  Being anxious is different from suffering anxiety.  Being anxious can actually be something good, as in “my child was really anxious to open her Christmas presents”.  It is at the stage of anxiousness that we can begin to rationalize that though fearful about our challenge, we can convince ourselves to continue forward if we can identify some safety nets.

I am going to use the paragliding adventure my daughter talked me into attempting.  We started the adventure by having our lunch at a cliff side cantina where we could watch the gliders take off from the cliff above us, pass over our position and then soar out over the valley.  The thought of running off a cliff had definitely brought on a heavy dose of fear.  The next step in the adventure would be a hike up the remaining several hundred feet of the mountain to ready ourselves for the flight.  For me, sitting there watching the gliders ahead of us strap in and then head down the short run to the edge of the cliff, brought me one step closer to realizing that I was going to have to overcome my fear if I was actually going to go through with this.  At this point there was very little difference between my fear and my anxiety.  As we waited, it became obvious that there was clearly a process and in fact everyone who left before us returned smoothly back to the cliff at the end of their flight.  I think that had they landed somewhere else, out of my sight, I may have had a much harder time moving from being fearful to being anxious.  I was now in the analytic phase of this whole thing and I was one step closer to the point of no return.  I could still back out, but instead of fear I was actually feeling anxious to get me turn.

Fear and anxiety hold us back.  Either one can stop us in our tracks, but if we can reduce fear down to being anxious, we can begin to accept the risk.  Anxiousness puts us in a position that having reduced our fear, we are ready to move into a state of anticipation for the next step.  If we can reduce our anxiousness by analyzing the risk and identifying the safety nets, we will hopefully move into the next stage.  But more on that next time.

The Cycle of Fear

Posted on by kwundrow

I recently was asked to present a sermon before three services at my church and am currently preparing for my public speaking sessions where the topics can be challenging and the crowds relatively large.  I am often asked by people how I can seem so comfortable doing public speaking.  I will tell you that I am never comfortable at first.  In fact, each time I have to go through the same process.  It is the explanation behind my theory on the cycle of fear.  That cycle is a process that goes through several stages as it moves us from fear to energy.  Over the next several posts I will attempt to explain the stages of that cycle and hopefully give some insight on how to deal with them.

My cycle of fear moves through these stages; Fear – Anxiety – Nervousness – Excitement – Energy.  As we move through the stages and provided we do move through the stages, we ultimately end up with the energy derived from the act we started out fearing.

Franklin Roosevelt

So stage one is fear.  Franklin Roosevelt, preparing a nation to face a world war, aptly stated, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.  Fear is the belief that something bad, and perhaps irreversible will result if we under take a particular action.  It can stop us from acting.  If, in fact the action may have been truly ill advised, fear actually saves us.  However, when our fear is irrational, it stops us from realizing potentially rewarding experiences.

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I will never forget the day I decided I would actually jump out of a perfectly good airplane from 5000 feet or for that matter the day I decided it was perfectly okay to leap off a 3000 foot cliff attached to a paraglider.  The fear I faced as I approached both of those adventures was real.  It would have been enough to stop me from realizing two of the most exciting experiences of my life.  By the same token, stepping in front of a crowd of 400 plus participants can be no less daunting and yet just as rewarding.  For many, that seemingly non life threatening activity, can freeze them in their tracks.

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So how do we get past that first stage?  My approach has been a combination of several steps.  The first step is to analyze the activity.  What is the worst that could happen?  Could I actually be injured?  What safety nets are built into the activity?  Often, a brief analysis will reveal that you are going to live.  Important point here, if that isn’t revealed, then heed the fear and look for a better activity.  In my parachute jump, there was a pretty reliable parachute as well as an instructor that was there with me all the way.  With the paragliding, I was actually hooked to a seasoned glider pilot.  The fact that he spoke no english created some angst but none the less, multiple people had flown off the cliff before me and all had returned intact.

Step two for me, when time allows, is to procrastinate.  This sounds just plain wrong but let me explain.  When faced with true fear there are two possibilities, fight or flight.  procrastination is a form of fight.  You have subconsciously not chosen flight.  In that decision, you took one more step toward acceptance.  The key with this step is to make sure you are moving in the direction of stage two, anxiety.  In anxiety, you are moving away from fear toward the belief that you can actually attempt this.  But anxiety is the topic of my next blog.

The third step is to stop over thinking.  This is actually harder to do than it sounds.  It requires a desire to see this thing through and that means I need to stop focusing on the fear and to start looking at the possibilities.  This is what Roosevelt meant when he said we only have fear itself to fear.  When we start considering the positive outcomes, we leave fear behind and we begin to move forward through the cycle.

When ever I have to face fear over a challenge I am about to take, I hear my daughter’s words echoing in my head, “Stop thinking about it and get ready for how exciting it will feel when you are done”.  If I had never jumped off that cliff that day, I wouldn’t have experienced how incredibly exciting it turned out to be.  She was so right!

Facing our fears is not easy but the reward that often awaits us for taking on the challenge is worth it.  Think it over, pause to let acceptance move us forward and stop over thinking the negative and focus on the possibilities.

paraglider

Coming soon….turning fear down to anxiety.

 

 

 

 

Goodness and Mercy

Posted on by kwundrow

What follows is a message I delivered to my church family on October 8th, 2017.

Psalm 23  King James Version (KJV)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

King James Version (KJV)

Public Domain

I want my message to focus on the last passage.  “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the lord forever.”  Where is the House of the Lord?  Heaven?  Or is it here.  All around us.  In fact in us and through us.  I believe it is the later.

I am not denying the existence of heaven but rather that the House of the Lord is wherever we would take it to be.  I personally love metaphors and I like to think of this as a metaphor.  If we accept that the Kingdom of God is here on earth and that he reigns from above, then why wouldn’t he have a house here amongst us?  But this house is different than the brick and mortar house we may be inclined to imagine, but is rather a presence that we can project and that God lives and works through us in that presence.

So what does it mean to project this presence?  How do we do that?  I believe that it is indicated in the beginning of the stanza.  “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me”.  I believe that the goodness and mercy that will follow me starts as a reflection of the goodness and mercy that I show toward others.

Now I will admit that I haven’t always been as open as I COULD have been.  And I haven’t always been as nonjudgmental as I SHOULD have been.  Nor have I always forgiven as quickly as I WANTED to.  Just a few weeks ago, my car was rear-ended at an intersection while I was waiting for the light to change.  It was fortunately only a tap and no damage was done.  When the driver of the other car emerged, wringing her hands and trying to apologize, she stated that she was in a hurry and had not been paying attention.  She stated something about her daughter and a doctor but at that point, I was not really listening.  Earlier, I had noticed her tailgating my car, and I was bound and determined to not only judge this behavior, but to hold her accountable.  Though I managed to contain my irritation, now bordering on anger, I did not find it in my heart to comfort her and tell her it was alright.  I failed to show her mercy.  As I drove away, I was overwhelmed by the emotion of guilt.  No damage had been done.  No one had been hurt.  She was obviously sorry and quite distraught.  I could only think how my acknowledging that and calming her instead of scolding her would have gone so much further.  What if she had just learned of something terrible that had happened to her daughter and that she was rushing to the doctor?  I needed to show her mercy.  But it was too late, I had already sown the wrong seeds and my opportunity had passed.  I could only hope to be better next time.

Goodness and Mercy.  It is not always easy but it is what God expects of us.

A few days ago my wife and I were hiking on Door County when we came across this sight.  I was more than likely deep in thought about this sermon and I immediately saw the metaphor in this image.

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As one tree had toppled into another, literally breaking it in two, the second tree had caught the first and cradled it from crashing to the ground.  This so reminded me of what an act of mercy would look like.

Could we be as merciful in an event where we could suffer a loss and yet step in to give support, to comfort, to do the right thing?  As difficult as that may be, we need to strive for that very model.

I cannot help but mention Las Vegas here.  Last week a person of unspeakable evil took the lives of 58 innocent people and injured or ruined the lives and families of so many more by his senseless act of terror.  But it is the courage and compassion of the security people and the concert goers themselves that rushed in without consideration of the risk to administer mercy to those wounded or dying that speak to my topic of goodness and mercy.  There was no goodness in the shooting but the compassion shown by every person who assisted, every hero who acted and for every person who offered a prayer, demonstrated goodness and mercy in its fullest.

There was one more metaphor that day.  Amongst the rocks of the Lake Michigan shoreline, hikers had erected prayer towers.  Deb and I had learned about prayer towers years ago while hiking in Hawaii.  The story goes that the tower represents your prayers for someone and the higher you can build the tower, the stronger the prayer and the greater its reach.

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We prayed that day for a very dear friend.  Why did we build the tower?  Because the life he leads and the image he casts are so deserving of this prayer for strength in his battle with cancer, we were compelled to ask for this mercy.  Our friend shows us goodness and mercy in his private as well as his professional life every time we are with him.  I can only hope that my life would cast the same deserving shadow if ever I need a prayer tower.

How then do we bring God’s Kingdom, “the House of the Lord”, into every aspect of our life?  I believe that the way we model our beliefs and convictions is the key to that process.

I need to share this story and you can show me mercy for a little bit of humor.

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking.
How about only 10 years and I’ll give you back the other 10?”
And God saw it was good….

On the second day, God created the monkey and said,
“Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That’s a pretty long time to perform.
How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said,
“You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said,
“Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But the human said, “Only twenty years?
Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,
the ten the monkey gave back,
and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I’m doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch

On the second day God created the monkey.  Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh.  For this I will give you a life span of 20 years.  The monkey thought about this and replied, 20 years of doing monkey tricks seems like too long.  I’ll do what the dog did and give you back  a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
And God saw it was good.10.  And God again saw that it was good.

On the third day God created the cow and said:  You must go out in the field every day with the farmer and suffer under the hot sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family.  For this I will give you a life span of 60 years.  The cow said that’s an awfully tough life to live for 60 years.  How about I give you back 40 and keep 20.  And God said that can work.

On the fourth day God created humans and said:  Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.  For this I will give you a life span of 20 years.  The human said, that’s not very long.  Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80, okay?  And God said okay, you asked for it.

So that is why for the first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next 40 years we toil at work to support our families, for the next 10 years we do tricks to entertain our grandchildren and then for the last 10 years we sit on our front porch and bark at everyone.

Even God has a sense of humor.

But to my point, if the majority of our life is spent in our working careers, how do we bring God into that space.  This I know is a tough one.  If you are like me, you avoid the full on, Jehovah Witness frontal approach.  Human nature, and rememberGod created that as well, is not overly comfortable with confrontation.

So back to goodness and mercy.  There is the old adage, “Actions speak louder than words”.  If we are to demonstrate goodness and mercy, it is exactly what we need to be about.  How we conduct ourselves, the way we do our business, the attitude we bring to our daily life, these are the actions that will speak louder than words.

We were recently at the Taste of Madison and sitting on the Capitol lawn.  We were joined by a couple we did not know.  Shortly after we had introduced ourselves the conversation turned to the wife’s new occupation.  She had switched from nursing to real estate and eagerly explained how she presented herself to and the service she offered her clients.  She had a service heart from nursing and she comfortably slid into a conversation of her faith and how it drove her in the treatment of her clients.  I was honored that she had been so comfortable sharing her story with me.  I believe that she could sense that I was as receptive to this as she was strong in her faith.

It is this image that we need to cast.  It is this approach that opens the door to these opportunities.

Quoting Christ from Matthew 5:16
“In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”

If your actions are those of a Godly life, they will be sensed if not noticed.  In many instances, they will lead to a conversation and in the conversation you can be inviting.  In my career, I had many opportunities to talk about my Christian beliefs and my passion to spread generosity.  When people sensed this in me, a door opened through which I could enter into a conversation on goodness and mercy.  On numerous occasions, clients who at first were not very charitable, began the process of increasing their giving.  I am not taking credit for their giving.  That comes from the giver’s heart.  But I am content in the fact that I was there to start the conversation.  Surely goodness and mercy will follow me.

One heart, one mind, one life at a time.  Each life that we touch can touch so many others.  Only God knows how the seed spreads.  I wear a bracelet made of fishing gear.  It is a symbol for me of a promise made long ago but it serves as so much more.  Countless people have seen the bracelet and asked why I wear it.  “Are you a fisherman” they will ask.  I always respond with “I am not, much to the chagrin of my in-laws, but let me tell you why I wear it and the story behind it.” And thus starts the invitation.

A few weeks ago I was at the wedding of a client.  It was a surprise invitation and I knew no one else at the wedding.  We were seated with the bride’s former manager and his wife.  As we shared conversation, I noticed his “WWJD bracelet.  As the conversation continued he became aware of my bracelet and eventually asked the question.  “Are you a fisherman?”  What ensued was a new direction that revealed his strong faith connection and service to his church.  In the end, he asked me for the details and the story of the bracelet and will soon be introducing the idea to his men’s group.  Surely goodness and mercy will follow me.

We must be open, forgiving and nonjudgmental.  These are the keys to a Godly life.  They are the answer to the question on his bracelet, “What Would Jesus Do?”

In conclusion, I chose to change the words of the verse slightly:  “Surely goodness and mercy will follow YOU all the days of YOUR life…..IF YOU will dwell in the House of the Lord always.”

 

Apparently Height Matters

Posted on by kwundrow

Recently I was at my retirement party when one of my clients came over.  She was holding her granddaughter who was playing quite shy in the company of all these strangers at the party.  To break the ice, I leaned down and asked her how old she was.  Getting no response, I said “you look to be about four.”  Her immediate response was “no, I’m three.”  Knowing that my daughter would soon be arriving and was bringing my three year old grandson with her, I mentioned that he would be here soon and he too was three.  Her response was immediate, “how tall is he?”  Apparently, if I was going to set her up with my grandson, height mattered to her.  She was clearly not going to be seen with someone who couldn’t measure up.

I am sure this little girl was not being judgmental, but rather was just looking for a point of reference that was more appropriate to her take on life at three.  The retelling of this story to my daughter triggered a thought that I needed to explore.  This little girl was astute enough to remind me that age had nothing to do with my grandson’s playability, yes I just made up that term, but rather his size was the compatibility statistic for her.

This got me to thinking in broader terms.  Am I tall enough?  Tall enough for my clients, my wife, my family or even the stranger I will meet on the street?  In other words, do I hold to my beliefs and ethics everyday and in every way.  Do I walk tall and can those around me sense that.  I can only hope so and then make it a priority to put forth the effort to make it happen as often as I can.

Since height mattered to her, and by the way, they got along famously later, are you always striving to be tall enough?  If not, try putting a little lift in your attitude.  People might just notice that you seem a little “taller”.

Sweet Adela…about time I write to you.

Posted on by kwundrow

For the past three years my focus has been on Jackson.  That took a slight turn on March 14th, 2017.  You entered the world on Pi Day and I am having a hard time not nicknaming you Pi in honor of it.  Let me tell you, you wasted no time in arriving.  You were almost born in the hallways of the hospital.  Why do I suspect you will then be just as fast at everything from here on out.

You are an incredibly happy, incredibly patient and incredibly “give me a little face time here” sort of girl.  You have a smile that can melt my heart in an instant and you are constantly moving.  Nothing anywhere near your reach is safe and believe me we have learned that lesson far too many times already.

You are named after your great great aunt Adele.  The misspelling of your name is deliberate on your parents part as they do not want that heritage confused with the singer Adele who is quite a big deal right now.  Just ask Jackson about “Hello” sometime.  Your namesake was the keeper of the stories and the history of our family.  She never wanted to learn to drive but she rode a motorcycle for her 100th birthday.  She told stories right up to the time of her passing at age 101 though some of them will not be safely repeated much before your 18th birthday.  Adele was a feisty lady with all sorts of spirit.  I know you will live up to her reputation.

Adela, you are loved by everyone but no one more than Jackson.  He cannot let an hour go by without kissing your nose or your forehead and then giving you a squeeze or a hug.  He adores his little sister and is pledged to watch out for you always.  I suspect somewhere down the line you both will have your moments but for now it is all bliss.

Just a little over a month ago, you moved to your new home.  You were born a Madisonian but you are now a resident of Verona where I suspect you will spend most of your youth as you grow into the woman you are to become.

The Arch

We just returned from your first big adventure.  We took a road trip to St. Louis and you came along.  It was unbearably hot and humid but you were a trooper.  No fuss and plenty of smiles.  We saw an incredible museum that I am sure your daddy will want to take you back to for more adventures of your own.  We rode to the top of the Gateway Arch, 630 feet above the city, where you took in the sights from the carrier on your mommy’s chest.  But the big event was the eclipse.  Your Opa and Mimi waited 33 years to see the return of the eclipse and you have started your life in it’s repeat performance.  As we told Jackson, the moon swallowed the sun and for several minutes we were in darkness in the middle of the day.  We all put on special glasses, including you, and we watched the eclipse unfold.  I know you won’t remember this one but perhaps the next one in seven years.  We will retell this story over and over until you might actual feel like you do remember it.  Your great great aunt would be so proud of the story’s telling.  Through all of this, the driving, the sitting in the heat, the hiking to the site, you were a trooper. Never a whimper and never a fuss.

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This is only the first of many stories yet to come, but it was time you had the beginnings of your story written down.  Know this, you and Jackson are both the focus of my attention now and you are both the love of my heart.  I can’t wait to watch you grow and I look forward to many more adventures to come.

Aah…Retirement, the sweet smell of Success

Posted on by kwundrow

It is week one of my newly acquired retirement.  I feel compelled to let my worriers know, so far so good, and for those of you approaching retirement a few pieces of advice.

First and foremost, don’t over plan.  Everyone wants to know what you are going to do.  Don’t be shy, tell them you don’t know but you will seize every opportunity.  Only in this way can you disconnect gracefully and not create a guilty conscience at day one.  Let life roll towards you now.  Instead of trudging up that hill, tackling each day, let the day come to you.

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My day one, without any intent or knowledge on my part, was the day of the total eclipse.  My daughter Bailey, had planned it several months prior and it never dawned on me that it would be my first full day of retirement.  What an incredible way to start.  We took off on Sunday morning bound for St. Louis with daughters and grandchildren in tow.  Monday we traveled 35 miles south to the center of the path in a little town called Festus, MO.  I would explain the origin of the name but that can be your adventure.  At 1:18 pm the moon and sun reached totality.  No words can explain the emotion but save to say we shared it with about a thousand people.  The cheers from the crowd, followed by the awe as we gazed upon the eclipse was worth all the effort.  We were surrounded in a 360 degree sunset which leaves one stunned and speechless.  Birds were flying crazily to their nests and the insects came suddenly alert with a cacophony of noise.   Two minutes and thirty seconds later it was over.  We had traveled four hundred miles and spent nearly seven hours collectively in our cars to witness a two minute and thirty second event.  To stand there and witness it first hand in the mid day dusk was priceless in every sense of the word.  That evening even my three year old grandson Jackson, was telling his dinner friends all about how the moon swallowed the sun and he saw it!

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Though the picture cannot do it justice, totality and 360 degrees of sunset.

Not bad for day one.  The next two days found me exploring a museum with Jackson and then time spent catching up with a dear friend and his family in a neighboring city.

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Jackson with his body guard, Kathryn, about to enter the high point of this insane structure.  We will title this “no fear” but maybe a little vertigo for Kathryn.

The Arch

Threw in a visit to the Gateway Arch.  More vertigo, some claustrophobia and an awe struck Jackson peering through the windows 630 feet up.

It is now day three and I am promising myself to add some routine to my days.  Nothing too big, just activities I can build on.  Oh yes, and the honey do list.  That started this morning and in my opinion I did a bang up job.  This is by no way an invitation to make this a habit but my suspicion is it will become one of the routines.  Well, at least now I have all the time in the world to do it.

I admit it is early, but I think I just might like this gig.  I am feeling that all the effort that went into the journey was worth it and that I am feeling a great sense of success at its end.  If you are close, I hope your first days are just as exciting.  Just remember, don’t chase them, let the days and the weeks and the months and the years all come to you.  And then embrace each one for the gift it is.

There was Electricity in the Air

Posted on by kwundrow

And that was the problem.  There was plenty of electricity in the air but none in our cottage.  And that is how our week of vacation began.  But I really should take you back an hour.  As we neared the cottage and had turned down the final length of the narrow road that ended at the entrance to our cabin, we found my son-in-law’s vehicle abandoned in the road.  Lying fully across the road and up the embankment on the other side, was a way too large to move birch tree.  The storm had taken it down and even now as the rain began again in earnest, electricity filled the air.  John had had to abandon his vehicle about an hour earlier as he was returning to the cottage with my three year old grandson, Jackson.  After an ill-fated attempt to cut the tree with a hand saw, he and Jackson had braved the storm and walked back to the cottage where my daughter and our three month old granddaughter, Adela, were waiting for them.  Fortunately for us, a rescue crew of cottage neighbors had arrived at the tree and were cutting it in to manageable pieces with a chain saw.  After a stint rolling the logs off the road, we were on the final leg to the cottage.

We arrived at the darkened cottage to find that the wind and lightning had taken out the power.  This is an all too familiar occurrence in the north woods and we already feared that we would be out of power for a while.  Let me emphasize “a while”.  That was soon to become a relative term.  For those of you who fantasize about being off the grid, let me tell you that you might leave that as a fantasy.  Without power there is no TV to watch while you are trapped inside by a raging rain storm.  No big deal.  There is also no electricity for the refrigerator or the oven.  Slightly bigger deal as your frozen food melts and your perishables, well perish.  And then every time you grab for a light switch you realize you better start conserving the batteries in your only two flashlights.  You are off the grid and starting to hope this doesn’t last long.  But it does.

Now comes the next item that succumbs to lack of electricity.  Remember the hot water you love for your shower, sorry, that too runs on electricity as does the pump that runs the well.  Forget about the shower if there isn’t any water anyway.  And then it dawns on you, it might be time to ration your time in the bathroom because yes, flushing without water is just another exercise in futility which is fast becoming the title of this vacation.

Evening came and with it the darkness only being off the grid can provide.  You have flicked on the light switch now for the millionth time with nothing returning but that empty click.  You retire to bed early just like you ancestors did, 8:00 pm, and convince yourself normalcy will be back on in the morning.  First light comes at 5:00 am and off course you are up, you’ve been sleeping for nine hours already.  You check the clock, still running on battery, and fool yourself that the power is on.  Reach for the switch and nothing.  Day two begins, no change, no charge, no power.

The final straw lands on your shoulder when your coffee addicted spouse asks for her morning cup of Joe.  You remind her that the coffee maker, like everything else, needs juice.  Not the liquid type, the electric type.  And she threatens divorce.

I need you to feel the emotions we were experiencing to make the moment the electricity returned have its true effect.  Our last desperate call to the power company had warned us that it could be another 24 to 30 hours before they got power restored as we were one of only two hundred patrons left without power.  Did they really mean that to feel like an honor to be proud of?  Yes folks, you are our frontline soldiers holding the line against the evils of advancing society.  We soldiered through another day off the grid, cell phones dying, arm pits smelling like pits and Jackson being taught the amazing joy of going to the bathroom in the great outdoors and well, being a male.  We retired to our beds at first crack of dark dreaming of the joys of electricity.  It was 2:30 AM when the call came.  I kid you not, the power company called us to proudly announce that after 38 hours, they had restored our power.  Thanks to you brave soldiers for your valiant fight to stay alive.  And what did we do?  Well we turned on every electric run item we could find, sang Kum by Yah and danced around the cottage like a bunch of medieval druids.  If we had still had any un-perished perishables available, we would have likely cooked up a feast.

And so my friends, as I have had power returned to my lap top, and I have come to the reality that I am really not a pioneer, I felt compelled to write down this little piece of history.  If you are still fantasizing about going off the grid, get a grip.  It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.  You’re my hero Mr. Edison.

They Don’t Know What They Don’t Know

Posted on by kwundrow

With Easter just around the corner I feel obliged to record a family story.  The story dates back to my youngest daughter, Kathryn’s, Easter egg hunt.  She was about three and since birth had grown up in “The House of High Cholesterol”.  Trust me when I tell you it will become clear later in this story why that is significant.

We had all headed down to the community park for the annual neighborhood egg hunt.  While the older children were given a much more complex set of rules and far more difficult hiding spots, the three year old group had been invited to the bowl shaped lower area of the park.  There, not hidden at all, were hundreds of brightly colored eggs of the plastic kind, chock full of chocolate and sugar delights, and the actual, chickens had laid them, eggs.  Even from the top of the rise it was quite easy to see them all strewn about and waiting.

On the sound of the horn, which by the way scared half of the seekers into leg clutching terror, the brave ones were off on a run down the slope.  Kathryn eagerly chased down to the pit and then started wandering about among the eggs.  It did not take long for us to notice that she was not picking up any of them.  Shouts of encouragement and direction seemed to have no effect.  Eventually she came back up to us, tears running down her cheeks.  Through her gasps for air between sobs, we deciphered that she was telling us that there were no eggs down there.  At this point her sister steps in and points out the eggs lying about right there in the open and asks her just what is the problem.  I believe Bailey envisioned herself as the true parent here and was going to straighten her sister out.

Kathryn looks up at her and says those aren’t eggs.  At this point I stepped in, eager to be the caring and wise father, and asked her just what she thought an egg was?  She looks up at me with that tear streaked face and said, “you know, the little yellow boxes!”  If you haven’t made the connection, lets revisit “The House of High Cholesterol.”  It seems, we had never actually consumed a real egg for fear of immediate and excruciating death.  Her mother and I may have read a few too many medical reports on the evil plot chickens were hatching on us, yes pun intended.  The only eggs Kathryn had ever seen were in the little yellow boxes, namely, Egg Beaters.

The good news is, we were able to explain as rapidly as possible, the misconception about eggs and, thanks to those terror frozen three year old’s still clinging to their mother’s legs, there were plenty left for Kathryn to save her first Easter Egg Hunt drama.  Now several years later, at a Mallard’s game, Kathryn was one of the lucky names drawn to participate in the Infield Cash Dash.  Apparently we had done a bang up job in this department, for she had no issues finding cash.  I maybe, however could have explained that the bigger numbers on the bills out weighed the popularity of the face on it.  But I’ll save that for another story.

Just remember “They don’t know what they don’t know!”

Jackson at Three

Posted on by kwundrow

You are three today and you are every bit the young lad I knew you could and would be.  In the past year you have become pretty sophisticated in so many ways.  You are starting to count and your ability to tell a story is getting more detailed every day.  And remember, storytelling is an important part of your Wundrow heritage.

This summer you went to Lake Tahoe and met many of your cousins for the first time.  While you were there, you taught them how to play “pool ball”.  They didn’t understand at first but by the end of the weekend they were in the swing of it.  I think you have a little bit of teacher in you too.

But all of this, as important as it was, pales compared to your new role.  You are now a big brother and you are proving every day how prepared you are for this new role.  Never has a little sister been watched over, cuddled, cared for and oh so loved as your Adela is by you.

You told me you had decided to call her “P” before she was even born.  When I asked you why, you explained it was for Pi.  Now having done this before she was born, how could you know she would come to us on Pi Day?  I guess when you are a brother, you just know these things about your sister.

I will look forward to the two of you growing up.  I hope that you will always take such good care of Adela and for that matter that you will treat all girls and eventually women with such respect.  Being a gentleman in this world has huge advantages.  Being respectful makes you a real man.  But more on that later.  We will need to talk again about this before you take your date to Homecoming.

You are three and ready to learn so much.  I for one hope to be part of those lessons and I hope that you will always be my buddy and come to me when you have those big questions.  You know, like “why is there air?” and “where did all the water in the ocean come from?”  I can’t always promise I will have the answer but I sure will enjoy exploring the possibilities.

Happy Birthday Jackson.  Know that you were always my first grandchild and that makes you just a little more special.

Stay curious.

Lost and Found

Posted on by kwundrow

If you have ever lost anything you will understand the irony of how lost things have a way of being found.  I recently, very recently, lost my wedding band.  Now as far as things you don’t want to lose go, a wedding ring is right up at the top.  Just the symbolism tends to drive your spouse to the edge.  I must say though that my wife reacted in a pretty understanding way.  She reminded me it was just a thing and she wasn’t going to get angry.  Even so, she had torn the house apart before I even returned home from work.  I meanwhile had searched every area of the office I was sure I had been in and even emailed the staff to organize a treasure hunt.  Three days later, no luck at all, and I am convincing myself the ring will never be found.

And then came Friday.  This is where the story begins.  I was finishing a client appointment and somewhere in the discussion, I had mentioned the lost ring.  My client looks at me and says, “I think this is your day to be lucky.  You are going to find the ring today.”  Now I was sure that wasn’t about to happen but still.  As I drove into my driveway that afternoon, I found myself stopping outside of the garage.  I wanted to drive my car in and planned on using my wife’s car later when we were to go out, but something told me to leave it there and switch the plan.  As I walked into the garage heading for the garage door opener, a cloud rolled by the sun and a beam of sunlight floated into the garage.  And then it happened.  A glint of light reflected up from the sawhorses stacked there in the corner.  I stopped, stepped back, and saw sunlight bouncing back at me.  I couldn’t see what it was, only the reflection.  As I reached down to the slot at the bottom of the sawhorse and placed my finger in to the groove, I felt the loop slip onto the end of my finger and there it was, my missing ring.

The irony here is the circumstances that had to align.  If I had put the car in the garage, if the cloud hadn’t rolled away from the sun, it the beam hadn’t been just at the right angle, if I hadn’t been just where I was.  I’m sure you get the picture.  Some things just want to be found and this wedding ring was one of those things.  The symbolism is not lost on me.  I love my wife and I love my life.  The ring is a symbolism of that unity.  Maybe its absence was meant to remind me of its importance.  Duly noted.

It wasn’t until later that evening that my wife eventually noticed the unification of the ring with my finger, and that is another story, but the expression of relief on her face spoke volumes.  It wasn’t just another thing one loses and forgets.  It was clearly so much more.  Guess I better be careful to make sure it stays on my finger.

Thanks for reading, and in case you’ve lost anything lately, take heart.  If it wants to be found it will find away to find you.  I guarantee it.